My Birth Story

First off, I was not a fan of pregnancy. It was pretty typical with no complications, but I was so uncomfortable and completely unmotivated for basically the whole 9 months. I spent most of my days binge watching TV and eating like a toddler: chicken nuggets and cereal to be honest. Sleep was a rarity from the moment of conception. I gained about 30 lbs and lost any amount of strength I had pre-pregnancy. I don’t remember it fondly and am apparently still complaining about it months later, but the end result… pure joy.

Anyway, here is my story. I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant with my first baby. My belly was stretched to its limit and so was my patience. Around 3:45am, I woke up feeling a little crampy, nothing new. I went to the bathroom and then back to bed. About 5 minutes later I felt it again and that was on repeat for the next 20 minutes. Each time my cramps felt a little deeper and lasted a little longer. I didn’t know what to think. I hadn’t had Braxton Hicks and could only go off of the experiences of other women I had read about. It was a little after 4am and I woke up the Hubs to prepare him for what I was hoping was labor. Then I called my next go-to person, my mom. She said it sounded like labor and to just call the hospital and see what they thought. At that point I was consistently feeling waves of pressure in my pelvic area and lower back but I could walk and talk just fine. I called the hospital and they told me to just come in and they would check me out. I was still not totally sure how the day was going to go, but excited to finally experience some of the typical labor pains! Silly I know, especially when I just described how miserable I was during pregnancy by any minor inconvenience. We packed up the hospital bag, that wasn’t ready due to pure laziness, and off to the hospital we went. We left around 5:30am and the sun had just come up. The moon was still out too, big and bright. The perfect morning to welcome our little moon child. I was feeling good, happy, even with the waves of pressure deepening.

The hospital was quiet. For historical record, I probably should mention we were in the middle of a pandemic and everyone was masked up. I sat at a counter filling out paperwork and my body was writhing in pressure, but I was holding it together. The first room I went to was to check if I was dilated and if my water had broken. Up to this point, I had only dilated half a centimeter in 2 weeks. I was schedule to be induced the following Monday at 41 weeks. When they checked this time I was only at 1 centimeter. I pretty much figured they were sending me home. For about 30-45 minutes, I waited for a test to show that my water had, in fact, not broken. The waves of pressure kept coming and going about every two minutes. It was relentless. Fortunately, the consistent contractions allowed me to stay at the hospital. They moved me to another room for more paperwork and more questions. Then, it was time for a major decision; was I going to get an epidural?

Ya’ll this was my first pregnancy: first baby delivery. I told myself I wanted a natural birth. I was tough. I had a bunch of tattoos. I could handle the pain. Yeah, my plan totally went out the window and this was just the beginning. I took the epidural and let me tell you, it was amazing: the most comfort I had felt in 9 months! You do you, but I am not sorry I took it. The doctor on call (my doctor was not available until Monday) came in to check my dilation and break my water. It had only been a couple of hours and I was already to 5 centimeters! They said that’s why my contractions were so intense, and here I thought I was just a big baby. They estimated I would be delivering pretty soon and have a baby in my arms by lunchtime. Like I said before, the plan went out the window.

I napped pretty much the whole day, which felt great, while my body contracted behind the scenes. The nurse came in every hour or so and checked my dilation. I sat at 6 centimeters for about 10 hours. I could see on her face she was concerned and then came the doctor again around 9pm. She explained why there might not be any progression in my dilation; the best and safest thing to do would be to have a C-Section.

Side note: A C-Section was the #1 thing I was afraid of my WHOLE PREGNANCY! Which is why I wanted a natural birth: why I even had a plan. I can barely stomach a paper cut to the finger, let alone being sliced through multiple layers of my abdomen and uterus!

I was so scared. I couldn’t help but to cry. I told my husband I loved him as if I was headed to my grave. They plopped me onto a stretcher and rolled me “into the light” … of the super bright operating room.

The actual surgery was, surprisingly, a breeze. I literally felt NOTHING.

I couldn’t see or feel anything past my chest. As I lay there on the operating table, arms spread eagle, heart racing, my mind went fuzzy. Where was my husband? The anesthesiologist could see I was worried. He told me they would be bringing him in soon: as soon as the doctors and nurses were all set up. He was a nice guy, that guy. Then he walked out of the room. I heard the word, “scalpel” but felt nothing, no numbed tugging, nothing. I heard my husband’s, Dustin’s, voice come into the room. “They’ve already started,” said the anesthesiologist, who must have been the one to grab my husband from the other room once he realized the doctors had started the surgery. Dustin said a little shockingly, “I can see that!” then popped his head behind the drape next to mine and asked how I was doing. “At least I like the music,” I said. I was totally out of it, doped up, at that point. Within seconds of the anesthesiologist leaving the room and my husband sitting down by my side, they had delivered my baby girl. I heard her cry. I cried, again. Ruby Dale, born June 6th, 2020 at 9:49pm. She was a whopping 10 lbs 4 oz and 22.25 inches long! No wonder my body refused to birth her naturally.

It took a few minutes for them to clean her up and bring her to me. I was overwhelmed with love, but also drugs. It was a surreal experience. I didn’t get to see her long or hold her. My arms were heavy weights and starting to shake. They took her away with my husband while they stitched me back up. I don’t like thinking about that part: gives me the heebie jeebies! I was told that it’s normal, but immediately after that my arms and head just trembled uncontrollably and I was fading in and out of sleep. My mouth was extremely dry and I had to somehow dissolve these white pills in my cheeks to help my insides shrink? Yeah, I was out of it. My trembling turned into full on spasms. They sewed me up pretty quickly and according the post-op nurses and my regular Gyno, they did an excellent job. The whole surgery was about 30-45 minutes. I give it 5 stars… would have surgery there again.

My recovery was a different story. I was still all doped up and shaking. The nurses brought me into a small room with WOOD PANELING, can you believe it? Looked like some retro office from the from the 70’s. It must have been the only place in the hospital that wasn’t renovated. I normally have a very vivid imagination, plus was in a dream-like state, and that room was not helping. Where was I? Some serial killers hideout? I kept my eye on the nurse who was typing away on a computer across from me. Still shaking like crazy, I drifted in and out. The anesthesiologist came in with some more drugs to help calm the shaking. Just what I needed, more drugs! I must have told them all, “this feels like a dream, am I dreaming?” about 10 times. My nurse came to check on me and told me, gently, to “relax.” I mean if that was a possibility I would already be doing it, girly. Finally, the medicine kicked in and my shaking arms reduced to something similar to a fish out of water slowly flopping away until it’s inevitable demise. I’m not sure how long I was there before Dustin came in with our new daughter and the night nurse. I tried breastfeeding, I really tried; the conditions I was under were less than ideal. She did latch a little, but I was so out of it and couldn’t focus on what the nurse was telling me, that I pretty much gave up right then and there. It was late when we were taken to our room and I just wanted to sleep. Nurses were in every couple of hours to check on me and Ruby. Thankfully, Dustin was there to help take of the baby because I would not have been able to do it by myself. We stayed for 4 days, which is pretty standard for an emergency C-Section birth I’m told. The staff was AMAZING and made us feel very comfortable. I still tried to breastfeed, but inevitably just decided to bottle feed. That’s a story for another post.

My physical recovery at home wasn’t any easier. I only took Tylenol and Ibuprofen. It was just enough to keep the pain tolerable. Feeling doped up for a whole day was already too much for me, so I passed on the “good stuff.” I felt pretty useless and had those Baby Blues off and on. Being aware of it helped me to change my mindset and try to be positive. Fortunately, my mom stayed with me every night for 3 weeks so that I could heal and my husband could sleep and work. TAKE ALL THE HELP YOU CAN GET. It makes recovery so much easier. My body seemed to take forever to heal and I kept worrying that I was ripping open my incision.

It was all in my head. My follow up appointments with my Gyno went as expected and I finally felt like myself again right at the 6 week mark, like they said. Thinking back on the experience now, I was pretty dramatic. So, I guess we know where Ruby gets it.

Thanks for reading my first blog!

-Alex