5 Ways to Help Toddlers Bond With Pets

Just a Dog Mom turned Mom Mom here to provide some tips to help your WHOLE family get along and thrive. Whether your pets came first or you’ve just added a new fur member to the family, these 5 Ways to Help Toddlers Bond with Pets should create happy and healthy relationships for everybody!

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My first role as a mother started before I ever birthed a human child. It began when I adopted my very own pup in my early twenties. She was and is still the best dog I’ve ever known, and my family has had lots of dogs over the years. She taught me responsibility, how to care for something other than myself, and unconditional love. She is family. Since then, we have grown into 2 dogs and a cat, plus one human toddler. While being a Dog Mom is not even close to being an actual Mom, I truly believe that pets add a very special dynamic to a family unit that fosters empathy, kindness, responsibility, and love.

It can sometimes be challenging for animals to understand small children, especially when they have been the spoiled ones for years before baby arrived; let’s be honest. They may or may not see them as people, but more like little bothersome creatures. It’s not always a natural connection, which happened to be the case with our family. These are some things I learned while helping our toddler to bond with our pets.

1. Introduce on the Pet’s Terms

Pets can naturally be protective of themselves and their territory, which is why it is important to introduce your child on their terms, when they are ready. If you force them together when they are uncomfortable or scared, you’re risking a negative or even aggressive reaction. It’s NOT worth it. With our situation, we kept the dogs separated from the new baby for the most part. We would let let them come up and smell our daughter while under close watch and kept an eye on how they reacted to her. My eldest dog could not care less about a new addition to the family, honestly. My youngest dog is a rescue and is very needy. She was the one we were most concerned about.

As our daughter grew and became mobile, she instantly developed an interest in the dogs. She still thinks their hilarious and loves to follow them around. Unfortunately, they did not have that same connection with her at first. So, we had to keep her away from them and let the dogs come closer on their own. We didn’t want any negative experiences to ruin their bond forever.

2. Proceed with Caution

As our dogs realized this little one wasn’t going anywhere, they started to come around more while we were all spending time together. We still had to keep a close watch, because babies and toddlers can be impulsive. Our daughter was not able to read their emotions or physical cues that indicated they were scared or annoyed. Plus, the dogs still didn’t see her as a human, but more another animal competing for attention.

Playing it safe and proceeding with caution is key to avoiding a scary or dangerous misunderstanding. We focused on little interactions where we were in control of our daughter and our dogs would come to us and get pets. We also made sure to keep her away from their faces. She would only pet the tops of their backs or bellies if they rolled over for it.

3. Set Boundaries

From the very beginning we taught our daughter to stay away from the dogs. Did she stay away? Of course not. She didn’t understand because she was so young, but it is still necessary to teach them that animals have boundaries and bubbles that deserve to be respected. Starting this early and staying consistent with it has helped our daughter in the long run. She listens when we tell her to stay away and looks to us for permission to give them physical affection.

In our situation, our dogs love to sleep on the couch. That’s when they were most vulnerable and we had a few instances where they snapped at our tiny moving human when she approached them while sleeping. It’s understandable and was a BIG learning experience for us as new parents. That’s when we first knew how crucial it was to build a better bond with our toddler and pets. We still make sure to verbally remind our daughter to stay away during these times, and now explaining why. Other typical boundaries to set are food areas or while eating, toys or while playing with toys, while getting attention from their favorite humans, going potty, etc.

4. Teach Softness

Once your toddler and pet start getting comfortable with each other and interacting more, you’ll need to teach softness. Our typical toddler needed to learn to be gentle. Like other kids her age, she started off grabbing and pulling. Totally fine in most other circumstances, but not with animals. Pull or grab a dog that is scared, nervous, or annoyed and it can lead to a potentially dangerous reaction.

We used the hand-over-hand method to show our daughter how and where to pet our dogs; again, teaching her to stay away from their face, plus tail and paws. We say things like “be gentle,” “give soft pets,” and “be nice.” Small children understand better when you tell them what to do rather than what not to do. When she gets too aggressive, we correct her verbally and physically, or separate them immediately. Then, when she listens an is soft and gentle with them, we praise both her and the dogs for the positive interaction. As I mentioned earlier, she looks to us for permission and approval when interacting with our fur family members now and they are actually very gentle and sweet back to her. Great progress!

5. Model Positive Behavior

Saving the best for last! Probably the most basic and effective way to a child anything is to model it yourself. Bring attention to the things you are doing right and and avoid doing things that aren’t. It sounds simple, but isn’t always. We had to become more self-aware with how we treat our pets around our daughter. Because we already have that unconditional love connection with our dogs, we are able to behave differently with them. We like to play rough with them, play with their faces and give kisses, cuddle up with them while they sleep on the couch; all things that our toddler should NOT be doing with them… yet.

So, in front of her we try to model safe practices that still show affection and kindness. We verbalize what we are doing and if we accidentally step on them or startle them, we say we are sorry; things like that. Most of all we show her that we love the dogs just as much as we love each other and we respect them. Creating a bond of mutual trust and safety with our toddler and pets has lead to a strong love of animals with our daughter. She has shown empathy not only to our pets (including our cat) but other animals she comes across. She also shows restraint when approaching other animals, which makes me feel so much better about her safety and as a mom in general. You can never be too careful!

Overall, I am happy to report that our fur babies have become very comfortable with our toddler after 20 months of these intentional bonding strategies. You can find her dressing up our pitbull-lab mix in random clothing from the laundry and getting face licks from both doggos. They greet her with excitement when we come home from on outing and are the first to get a “hi” when our daughter wakes up in mornings. We actually feel a weight lifted off our shoulders now that we have fostered the safety aspect, and are really enjoying watching our little family become so close.

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Comments

Kirsten says

February 21, 2022 at 3:13 pm

I love this topic! We brought our first child home to two dogs and they have not been fond of her – even now, going on 17 months! Thanks for sharing, this is very helpful!
Stephanie says

February 22, 2022 at 9:13 am

These are really great tips and ones that you have implemented well as she and your dogs are creating a bond evident in those cute photos! We don’t have pets but I would these tips would come in handy if we did.