OMG, I love my kid so much! Having said that, I struggled to bond with her when she was first born. Maybe you’ve felt this way too. I had an unplanned C-Section and was down about the whole experience mentally and physically. My body felt broken and I was exhausted. I struggled with breastfeeding and pretty much gave up on it while still in the hospital. Since I wasn’t able to make that connection, I looked for other easy ways to bond with my baby; these are great ways to help dads bond too! Here’s my TOP 5:
#1 Say “I Love You”
I was saying “I love you” to my belly before Ruby was even born and it was the first thing I said to her on the operating table at the hospital. It means SO much more now. I not only say it daily, but like a gazillion times during the day. I find that saying “I love you” is the easiest way to bond with my baby, especially when I am having a hard moment. For example, if I am frustrated because she is fussy or crying, first I try to recognize she is just communicating that she needs me. Then, I look at her “cute even when crying” face and I say, “I love you.” I like to think it calms her a little bit, but I KNOW that it calms me. It changes my mindset and refocuses my energy on love rather than frustration. If I am calm and exuberating love, she feels it.
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#2 Give Kisses
My baby LOVES kisses! I give her kisses ALL DAY, even when she cries. Most of the smooches I give are on her cheeks, back of her neck, or on the head. I feel like she is too little to give kisses on the mouth. I don’t want to spread my germs to her; plus she’s slobbery LOL. Giving little smooches throughout the day provides that physical contact that babies need in a loving and even fun way. Every time I give her a peck, she smiles from ear to ear. Just another easy way to bond with my baby that I can’t get enough of!
#3 Hug, Hold, Embrace
This was a hard one for me during the first few weeks of motherhood. I was in pain from my major surgery and had a hard time moving around. Plus, Ruby was a big baby (10 lbs 4 oz), and I couldn’t really carry her around very much. *SO THANKFUL TO MY MOM during this period.* I would hold her while sitting, but she didn’t really like to just chill in one place; that hasn’t changed. My body has finally healed and I hold her and hug her as much as possible. Again, the physical touch is essential to bond with your baby. They can sense your energy and soak it up, so I send my good energy into her through embrace. I’ve never felt so close to another human.
#4 Watch
The opportunity to bond with our baby that we most often miss is when they are just being. It’s so normal to be distracted by our daily life when they are finally happy and calm or playing with a toy. It’s like, finally I can go to the bathroom, fold some laundry, scroll through my phone, pay a bill, get some work done, etc. It happens to me all the time and I try not to let those distractions cause me to miss out on really getting to know my kid. I sit and watch her play, or gaze at her when she drinks her bottle. I’ve noticed that she looks back at me now. She checks to make sure I am watching her and let’s me know if I happen to look down at my phone for even a minute! I feel a deeper connection with her just from watching her and making eye contact and I know I’m not going to miss a single piece of her growing personality.
#5 Respond & Interact
As your baby grows, they look for ways to interact with you. They want to be part of your world as much as you want to be part of theirs. It’s weird to think that a baby can tell when you’re not interested, but they can. I realized this by observing my daughter’s body language. She gets restless and whines when I’m distracted and she is happy and smiley when I give her my full attention. So an easy and great way to bond with your baby is to just respond to their efforts and interact with them. Laugh and smile at their coos and babbles. Talk to them about what is happening around the room or sing and dance. Play toys with them even if they can’t do much; it supports them and shows that you want to be with them. Our favorite thing to do right now is laugh at the dogs. 😀
If you’re at a point right now, where you feel like you’re not being a good enough mom or dad, or everything is too hard, or you’re just plain tired; know that I was there, and still am some days! But there are easy and natural ways to feel better and to love and bond with your baby. You are the best parent for your child. I hope my experience with these tips help you to create a deeper connection with your baby, like it has mine. xoxo
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